When a strong emotion makes itself known to us, sometimes we can gain some insights into and scratch beneath the surface of the experience. We may be feeling frustrated, sad, angry or overwhelmed about a situation. This situation is a very real thing that is being experienced, but the way you are experiencing it is reflecting something to you about the state of your inner being. Calling you to explore these layers more deeply.
For example, a few months ago I found myself feeling so frustrated, angry and stagnant around the options that I had for putting my children in school next year. I felt like there were external factors that were impacting and severely limiting my ability to move forward with the course of action that I felt to be most nourishing for my children. Scratching the surface of this, I noticed how I felt disempowered, unsupported by life and like I was failing my children. I also felt so much anger toward these external sources controlling my life.
Whenever we touch upon this deeper aspect, it can be easy to feel like we have a deeper understanding of the emotional state attached to the experience. This can reinforce a sense of victimhood in the situation and can feel heavy and even more limiting and self-deflating. What is happening here in terms of inner union is that there is a sort of stirring of a cauldron. The inner feminine, the body, is allowing some things to bubble to the surface with a desire to be tended and released. As this bubble approaches the surface, our masculine conscious awareness is able to, if we choose, sense this first deeper insight into this experience that yearns for attention within the body.
You can imagine that your inner feminine is coming to you, reaching for you and begging for you to do something for her, but your masculine consciousness has no idea how to meet her needs. In the past he may have completely ignored these calls or actively pushed them away. Now he has decided to listen… so he is just sitting there and observing her. Kind of gently being present, but not sure what to do. In this stage we can move through the motions of our day in a sort of daze, feeling heavy and disoriented.
Your emotional and energetic body, your inner feminine, desires the purpose and structure of the masculine consciousness in union. She needs the skill of your consciousness to penetrate that surface to unite with her… many of us have not yet learned this skill.
When we begin to think about piercing the surface to meet this inner world, a lot of fear may arise. There can be a visceral sense that we may become entrapped, overwhelmed and stuck in the nebulous realm of the inner feminine. This untraversed realm can feel incredibly unsafe to the rational thinking mind. The purpose of the masculine is to protect us, and for many of us, that has meant protecting us from strong emotions of grief, pain, sadness and anger… the very things our body needs to express and release to return to flow.
His fears are not unfounded. The truth is, it IS possible to get lost in this inner realm. To become disorientated and overwhelmed by the senses and emotions that live here. There are many who live locked in that space as they suffer from depression, anxiety, forms of PTSD and other continuously emotionally charged states.
This results from an underdeveloped, unstructured masculine energy in the body that collapses when brought to meet the feminine.
Having experienced an overwhelm or collapse to the feminine can create a feeling that it is not safe to contact her. That a separation must be kept in order to protect our ability to move forward make progress in life. The sometimes results in an over-bearing masculine mind that has created such a rigid barrier to contacting the emotional body, that she is locked under a surface of armor. Rather than the awareness being locked in the body, here we experience a dissociation from the feeling, sensing body.
Symptoms of this state might be experienced as a resistance to sitting and just being with your thoughts and emotions, a drive to DO something, to achieve, a sense of needing to connect or receive from outside sources, or a sense of a lack of depth in the experience of joy, pleasure, love, freedom, and flow.
Most often, we find that we contain a range of both states within our body in different situations and areas of life.
The work of inner union brings a structure and hones the skill of the inner masculine to penetrate and navigate these layers of the feminine with his conscious presence to witness and allow the expression of these deeper layers within a safe and protected container of his tender love. This is a process of learning to make love and cultivate a relationship between your own inner masculine and feminine. To return them to a state of ecstatic union, layer by layer.
So, how do you know when your inner masculine has been successful in showing up and using this skill to achieve inner union within a layer?
Returning to our example from above. The surface has been scratched. The masculine is right there. He has touched the feminine and she has rushed to him, yearning for this touch. In my example, the feeling of disempowerment, of being controlled and a desire to break-free from that control. The conscious mind can sense there is something deeper here.
The clue you have to indicate that this need for union and release has not yet been met, is the experience of heaviness. This feeling of being stuck and weighed down. Of being controlled by this external situation.
Every time our consciousness is able to penetrate this surface to unite with our feeling, sensing body to open her in the ways she desires, it feels like a body orgasm. With tingling, warm, radiating energy flowing through your entire body. Sometimes gathering in a space to release additional tension and pouring forth from your being to envelope the space around you until you are held in this womb of core truth and expression.
You will know you’ve achieved union in this thread when your inner feminine, your body, releases into its natural state of expansion and flow and the external situation loses its charge. The flow you feel in your body will be reflected in the flow you feel in life and this situation. At this current stage, it is as though you have been intimate, but never reached the deeper part of your inner feminine to bring her to orgasm.
The thing is, where there is one bubble, there are more… a string of bubbles. And just as it is possible to have a shallow, weak release into orgasm, it is also possible to return only portions of this string to union, and have to return to tend to it to release what remains.
With practice, the skills and structure of penetration can release entire threads, even multiple threads at a time. It’s literally the difference between a mediocre orgasm and a mind-blowing, multi-orgasmic experience.
Right now, you are an uninitiated lover in the skills of inner union. It is possible to learn and cultivate the skills and structure to penetrate your feminine with your consciousness and bloom her in the juiciest of ways, the most painfully exquisite ways. And your gift, beyond this ecstatic state of juicy, orgasmic inner reunion, is your own rebirth, release and renewal.
The development of your own inner masculine to cultivate a strong container to confidently process any emotion or situation that arises. Learning to welcome all of yourself without judgement to experience the wholeness that you already are. A grounded structure that honors the messy and uncomfortable parts in life and knows how to hold and dance them into fertile soil. An expression that is rooted in the honoring of your deepest truths. The ability to show up and take action which is rooted in and aligned with your deepest soul desires and purpose. The union of the wisdom and gnosis of the feminine to guide your powerful, committed actions that are rooted in compassion and honoring of yourself and others.
I invite you to take a few moments to journey with the following:
How does it feel when you contemplate connection with your emotional and energetic body?
Take some time to feel into the current state of connection between your conscious mind and your emotional, sensing body?
Can you call to mind a recent experience where you sense this dance between your own inner masculine and feminine?
What deeper layers were you able to connect to?
Are you able to connect to any deeper layers now?
What do you feel as you begin to make contact with the surface of this experience and attempt to penetrate the surface? Notice where you might feel stuck, unsure, resistance, fear of overwhelm or blocked out. Can you welcome this?
Are there spaces where you are able to break through to express and move into expansion and flow?
Please feel free to share your experience with this journey. I love to hear the unique experiences or resonances of individual experience with this process.
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